I feel so cold and its true that nothing is really worth it anymore. im spent.. used up chewed up and spit out. No longer do I seek comfort from people. it just hurts so bad when the whole world basically seems to be crushing you. I dont believe in any source of higher power. There is no God In my life it all looks like a bunch of bullshit. I actually just want to sleep. bring me away from fucked up reality. I dont deserve to be treated like shit anymore But I dont ever deserve anything? Im just living my broken dreams and hopes I never wanted it to be this way... but you know what Lindsey it just is fucking cope man. just fucking cope. I want to feel welcome...more like wanted. But welcome sounds less dramatic. ah who gives a shit. You say your there.... and I still wake up and still dont see you? So are you really you dont understand most of everything doesnt phase me and I see no point on arguing about stupid shit when i look at how bad things actually are. My friend says I have a stress ulcer I say... So what. Due to random sickness and nothing touching my stomach in some time. maybe. I could just crumble up in a ball right now. Fall off the world and know that my non existance wouldnt matter. Im just a dumb bitch... and its all I ever will be. Your dragging me down. how much more can I take