hey yall, just sitting here in my really hot house about to die of heat. i love the summer, but not when it gets the the point where its so hot its like sticky. me an him were having some hard times, but i think its actually getting better, i think he is actually really different this time, cause he said that he wants to change cause he doesnt want to end up in the position that me an matt were, an i am so happy for that. i dont even have the words to explain how i feel about him. i have never felt this way about anyone before, an i know i am young an i know people say that i dont know what im talking about an i have my whole life to make these kind of desions, but the thing that they dont understand is that i know how i feel an i know when it seems like the right thing to do, i just wish other people could understand that. i really have thought everyhting through an i think its the right thing. last night was fun, i hung out with kelsey, brian, an barry. we went to toys-r-us an looked at everyhting cause i havent been in like 7 years, it wasent actaully that fun now, growing up sucks sometimes. a lot of times actually. but ya i need to start thinking about other people besides myself cause i have been doing that a lot lately, especially my mom. ive been i real bitch to her an i need to stop, cause she is everyhitng to me, i dont know what i would do with out her, i just need to stop being so selfish, i also need to stop lieing too, cause lately i tend to do a lot of that. well i got to go ill talk to yall later! *court*