im stupied i opened up to him a let him see things i have never showin anyone i gave him a second chance and i knew that it would get fucked up. i have never opened up to a guy before never talked to a guy before the way i talked to him. i thought he would be diffrent but all guys are they say they never want me.sometimes i just think im domed to stay alone forever but i also think that thats not possible but it is if you think about it hard anoth. i dont know anything i think all the time but yet i dont know anything.sometimes i just feel like giving up. im not happy i dont think i will be happy for awhile i see all these kids go out have fun but no i cant i have to work all the time to get what i want because my parent will not do it for me like everyone elses. i going to miss talking to that is true but i reather not talked to him and think he has a girlfriend it will not work. he as a life and i have mine well he as a life i dont have one. which makes forgeting about him more diffecult.i want to hate him so bad but i just cant. i think about the confersations we once had and it make me want him more and i can just stop thinking about the confersation because i think to much.i guess you can say he led me on and i should of really said goodbye the first time but i didnt which was really stupied of me. it hurts really bad. not just him but other things in my life.i wish he could see how much im hurting but he will not ill just leave it at good bye. and say fuck you hoping it will make me feel any better which it proply will not. i wish i never meet him. i wish he will just disaper. which i know he is proply think in time she will get over me and i will but in the mean time i will not and it going to hurt antell i do. and to think i thought i was falling in love with him i was FOOLISH goodbye doug.