awsomesness cds ever REM the new album around the sun and the imported japaness of death cab for cutie's we have the facts and we're are voting yes. which cost me 30 bucks but that not bad for a import they usely cost about 40 bucks so i got 10 dollars of yay! for me... we there was a disapointing part of my day my friend jakie is having a halloween party and i thought i was going to be invited sence everyone i know is going so when she was passing out invatations she can to me and was like"your going to be a bit disapointed i cant invite you i have to many people" i told her that it made me feel left out and thats the feeling i hate the most sence im always left out. and she told me that she just invited people she knew longer. and she almost started to cry and knowing me i reather feel like shit and depressed and sad then let anyone else feel it. so i told her i didnt care and i smiled and laught but deep down in side i feel like crying i have feel left out. i dont know i guess im to nice to let anyone feel bad or sad. we before we disparted she was like ill ask and see if i can invite one more person but i dont know if im going to go it just like she is feeling sorry for me i dont what anyone to feel sorry for me if im a loser and you dont want me at your party then dont invite me. i think i more upset because the person that i would of proply sent hallween with got invited so if she goes and i dont i have nothing to do but sit around feeling like crap but hell its just a nothing night alone agian something im quite use to. i was thinking about going to the post last weekend to see some bands but i thought that would be wrong of me to do because i dislike the music they have there. it all sounds the same so i didnt go. i havent been there in months but they are having a show with diffrent music playing next weekend i think so i might go then or not chances are i would proply work because that is how my life as come to. im so tired of this people in this house that i no long what to be in anymore they have no respect for my shit. my older sister that is 19 the lives with us took my work shoes because she wanted to ware them to work she didnt give a fuck that i had to ware them to work no. and she didnt care when she took my work pants two days ago she was like oh shut the fuck up or you will walk home. and i bought a bag for like 16 bucks and guess who has it now yeah my sister and did she ask no does she care no and all i hear from her is shut the fuck up. im tired of feeling like im just someone that has to me here. my brother doesnt have respect he ask me to use my computer the i pay for and i told him no and what happens when i leave he fucking gets on well from what he said is he tried so i should be ok with it fuck him. then i walked in the down and he was geting into some shit i bought and i yeld and him for it and he called me a selfrictous bitch it funny because he doesnt even know what that means. and i dont see how i can be selfish because i work my ass of 34 hours a week for money to buy stuff and i just want it to myself i dont see why i have to share something to someone that sits on their ass smokin weed and doesnt even have a job he thinks everything should be handed to him. i dont see how im being selfish. it pisses me off i stay away from him but some how we feels the need to call me a computer nerd,fat ass,selfritous bitch,loser,and that i bitch to much. i dont even talk to anyone here. you think them being my family they would treat me right and not like we are in fucking middle school. i dont what to be here anymore i just want to leave if fucked up i have nothing here you think because i work my ass off for this shit that it would be mine but insead they think it has to be theres as well. all i can say is if you want is get a fucking job and buy it. i know im complaing but its about time i complan. well im going to stop complaning im going to be happy or make myself think im happy.