i know this lady named ruth i work with her she likes to sign her name with a smiley face. it remindes me of her personality she always seems to have a smile on her face and calls me chicky poo. it funny sometimes when she makes jokes that has stuff to do with Sex">Sex">Sex">sex because you doing think that would ever come out of her mouth. but yet i laugh at what she as to say. she inspires me to have a better day. i wonder if she is really as happy as she looks mybe she is like me and hides it inside of a smile and personality. i think about that alot while i make pizzas i think about alot of stuff while i make pizzas. me and teddy bear are doing great i stay up all last night talking to him and it was great we did some stuff that was amazing we talked about us and thought stuff through a bit i think i would want to be with him forever i dont know he is just what i want in a guy. well from what i can tell know. he so amazing. me and amanda are great as ever i love that chick so much best friend ever. and i deside not to push her into living with me right know she is in love and i want her to persue this love that she feels.and i play to see her ever chance i get tell i can leave this lonley place. everyone i want in my life that i can just reach out and touch are not in sight they are in diffrent states so far away but yet we have such a connection is unbelive able. im kind of thinking about going to collage in cali or new york but i think more cali because of amanda yes yes teddy bear is in ny but amanda is my best friend if anyone can understand that and i know i said last night that i will do anything in my will power to be with him and if i had to i would go to school in ny but things have change amanda will not be moving over here with me because i will not let her let go of this love.