i have been siting out to the side lines most of my life just studying how people work. i sit and the lunch table and listen to people confersation and i realised im nothing like these people i never was. some times i tired to be then i figured out later on its best just to be yourself and not try to please these people that will soon realise that life is not about geting drunk and having a good time its is about being conftable with yourself and your body. it is about injoying the moment and the enviorment. i love taking walk just listening to music and thinking well most of the time i like thinking. most people dont take the time to just think for hours a day they are so worried about more usless things like oh does this boy or girl really like me. does this shirt look good on me. people care why to much about what other people think. it what you think of yourself that counts. and if you want to spend all of your life worring about usless things like that. im just ready to get out of high school. im almost `18 but yet i feel like im 20. i no long want to sit in a box. i want to be free to live in a big city and injoy what has been givin to me by all the people that took time to build that city for people like me. my head is not satifing all my ceriousaity i need more. i need to go out on a quest. to find myself i see all these people that know who they are. it not like im tiring to be like the rest of them i just think its time for amanda to know who amanda really is. i guess i can only know if i search really hard.