well look who is back from the dead i got the internet yay! right? well i said i and a big entry and i do not lie its just stuff that i wrote while i had less internet then normal. injoy! head pounding feels like little people /what people call migets well what ever you call them they were danceing in my dead leaving me with the feeling of pain. What were they danceing to? well the sound of the music the people i thought i knew as friends and encounters. That were placed on the trampolean that is placed in a center of land surrunded by bushes that made you more afraid to fall off.I closed my eyes with the hope that the music they were sinding would stop so i the small people would stope the pain causeing dancing.My feet begain to turn blue like my blue tinted jacket i was waring which the cold brushes of wind was causing it to turn more red after time. I tried to consertrate on the sky and the little dot moving slowly in the sky like pollon on a hot spring afternoon.the wind reminded me of the afternoon i spent in chacogio. As i begain to remember i felt tear drops rolling down my face it didnt come from the thought i was having buit yet the feeling of loneyness tring to sink its way into my thoughts.i reget wareing sandles to the party.I regert many things about that night.The fight brittney had with the black hair spray bottle was on i dont want and i dont regret.the laughs it cause were unforgetable and joyfulish.My pencil is borken well not really mine.I found it about an hour and a half ago in the computer lab.I miss my internet geting quite bored without it. 6:30 PM is to early to go to bed.I have to work tonight that should be fun get to burn my skin more with the heat that comes off the pizza oven. i think i might go to the libary after work a check out a book or two and write thei on sitdairy. OH i mean sitdiary note to self:with lack of internet work on spelling and art studys. May be I'll ceck out a dic. for my spelling of course. I spelt porvides provides wrong today yes that is a stupied word for me to mispell but i did nothing to do but fix it and i did.The sweat shirt the algerbra teacher is waring today is really bright," i like it!" i gasped it out loud in a did i say that out loud sort of way of couse i got looks but did i mind NO! she was talking about something review for a test i think not really paying attition of couse if i was i wouldnt be writing this then now would i. hmmmm!!... this is all most a whole page front and back i might evne get to 2 pages. (Crossing fingers) why is this girl looking at me? huh? oh yeah im funny lookin thats right i wonder if i cross my eyes and stick out my touge if she would think im more funny or stop looking at me eather way everything is all good.once again this gum in my mouth is geting old i wonder if it is true what kids us to say and still do if you swollow gum then you will die from it something about cloging up you tube thingings in you body. well just to be on the safe side ill just stick it under the desk or that girls hair well if i was that mean and grose i would do bothe sence im not ill be some what normal and just through it in the trash and draw attation to myself.i wonder what william is doing right know.proply at work. i hope he is having a good day or at lest good moments of the day. just as long as it was not a wasted day. i hate wasted days because you wish you could go back and make something great happen not to great because then you will have computiaon this the day after because then you will have to try to back the next day even better.Got a paper cut i hate how it feels when you do get a paper cut and everytime you bend you fingers the cut opens and you can feel it opening is gets quite eratating but good thing is if you forget about it you can not feel it anymore proply because it closes so fast.i hope william didnt call last night sence my body made me sleep earlyer then usaul. Maybe he will call tonight, man how i love him! I might be just a little crazy about him too not sure what it is about it is, but it feels good.Lust proply, part of it but just a small part... most of it is his personality. he sure has more personalitly then i do at times. He talks more then me to not sure if its a good or bad thing yet. Heart still in my pants from THE UNICORNS CONCERT! it was joy causing. What a bunch of beautiful guys inside and out. they have a big funny personalitlies. very layered and experenced. the singing penis doll was piss your pants funny. as well as the guitar humping singer with gourgious lond hair and great compelection and stucrture. compent orgasmic show, with a dash of danceable music. "OF COURSE I DANCED MY HEART OUT! ARE YOU CRAZY HOW COULDNT I! my feet wouldnt let me stop the dance and not like i wanted to stop anyways." that was the amazing part of monday but with having the amaizing moments there has to also come the sad depressing moment that lead up to the amazing or and follow the amazing ones. got get right down to it there were two. first: i left my purse in the computer lab and i had to go get it which that made me late to meet jakie in the front of her bus and she never was near her bus do to the fact the buses were leaving and she had to get on to no shame on her only on me but i had to go back for my purse shall not leave and man behind! so i couldnt get a ride from anyone else because i told me ride that usaul takes me home that i will not need that ride that evening well i was rain and i had to walk about two miles or 5 i dont know i was not counting well i was cold and the wind was blowing the rain in my face pretty hard and my lips were going numb from the tears my eyes produced. which the conculsion that i only really have one true friend with me right know which is myself. well at the time i could really blame brit and i dont maybe i have two myself and brit. its driving me nuts that i can get ahole of amanda i know she is proply ok but its kind of hard not to worry about my best friend. well back to the topic.i was really depressed but for some reason i have to reason for of course because i just said. i had a smile on myface i was sad not dout about that but way the smile. mybe a reaction. sence i do tend to hide my feelings. second: after and now that the unicorns have gone and left my sight i didnt get a chance to talk or take picture of or and with the guys because i didnt bring my camrea and i didnt want to bother them. and i keep on hopeing a wishing to see then once what im i talking about see them forever because they are great and i just get the sad feeling that i will never see them proform ever again. next and last to do on my to do list before i die is see death cab for cutie proform haha its funny i only have two things to do on my list see the unicorns and death cab for cutie but in time it might get longer but for now i dont really want more i might wish i want more but they are only wish they dont mean that much as things on the to do list do those are goals and they become stronger. i can belive kerry lost. PRO-CHOSE! have to go. bed or just lie there tell william calls well if he does. i hope what i think is right my mind might just be lieing to me. i couldnt keep my head on straght tonight i dont know how much stuff i had fucked up on in the past but right now im happy right where im and i dont want to lose it me and my mom are doing fine yes she does stuff to really piss me off but mothers are good for that i just need to grow up and me my own person and im ready for that. a beautiful silence as our lifes echo and repeat