i dont know why i get the way i do. boredom mybe have to have some excitment or you get tired which is what i need to be geting sence i have a thing like school to go to. amanda was going to call me tonight but its already about 12:30 which amanda said she was calling at 12:00 i just pertend time to time to be a sex addect so i can see what someones reaction is... sence i like to observe people and why they think or do the things they do. i like to just sit in a place and study the atmosphere. some people are intresting. then some people fall for everything they hear what is this world comeing to where everything can be one big lie. take graphic design you can easly destort and pictures so it looks compeatly diffrent and look esactly the way you want it to. and you can even tell its fake its one big lie i think that is why im in ad design so i can play with peoples heads. well never mind that just sounded wrong.... im wrong for the things i do but noone is perfect right? i dont think i would ever get to the point were i fuck with people in photos im against that. which makes me even weirder. i can me a dumbass at times as well. at lest i see my flaws and learn from my mistakes. if i was smart. tonight is a werid night i feel a bit diffrent. damnit way do i resalt in not being myself some time just to hide the really me im so insercure some times about my personality. i think it is me being more afriad that i will scare or chase someone away if i show them the real me. i tend to get the respones "your ingoring" alot. and i dont even talk that much