i am soooooo fucked up. abandoned to fuckeries i can't begin to explain where i went wrong. i can, but i don't like to repeat it. i fucked up real bad. Not like someone's gonna snipe me bad. But bad. why do people make the most fucked up decisions when they're straight. i was just this little girl, and everything was fine, and then i fucked it up, for no other reason than my wanting to grow up and look after people that i couldn't really look after. and now i'm doing it again. and i've already done it again and again. please, whatever you are, don't let this happen. over again. fuck... i can feel it. draging at my sides, pulling me in, tightly. now i'm just this stupid little girl, who not many understand, who's given up. and it's just like. yeah. like. oh my god. this is it.