i remembered a time when i feared people, and the walking-talking bad news they were. alex has promised to call me tonight. it's strange to know that life goes on in the hutt without me. it's strange to know that axl gets on with his ife without me, and i do him. it's weird, and i don't really like it. i remember the time when we first met: it was guy fawkes, which meant lots of fireworks and promised stars. he hugged me, i hugged him, i sat on his knee, we kissed in the back of dale's car, and were inseperable since. then boarding school finished. i was happy. he got arrested and sent to jail. that was one of the worst moments of my life. i felt.. betrayed. and broken hearted. and like there was this deep hole i'd never be able to fix. like he'd just died. i fell pregnant. more crying. then he gets out of jail. beacause amazingly enough, matt madden survived. now i'm just rambling. brb diary