The love between a mother and their child is intense. It is what keeps each other alive, breathing, caring, sensitive to touch, taste, smell, sight and sound. The biggest offer life hands out to you, and accepted with only the warmest, widest opened arms. It's funny. i didn't think i'd ever see a side of jess like this. She's so... responsible. she loves kotare so much, and there's no doubt about it. the strong bind is real, and barely comprehendable. since when the fuck did we (minus me) start having kids. and since when does life fuck up with them? ever? never. i could only wish to love something unconditionally, to feed something with every cent of my life. i dunno much, but i know what i saw, and it smacked me hard in the forehead. it was fucken weird. so i have felt "normal" for the first time in over a year. happy without drugs, axl, drama. i know what it was, what it is. everyone i love, and everyone that loves me, and all the effort we have put into each other's lives. even if all we are left of is the memory. it's these memories that keep us alive. "unexhaustable springtime", i was once told, by someone who descibed love. i want my life back.