one more break down.. i swear.. but i get ot see my baby hopefully tomorrow!! well last night i waited all fucking day to talk to james.. and when i called he didnt want to talk that long cause he was tired.. maybe im jst expcting too much.. like i usually do.. i mean maybe i jst need to let him do what he needs.. but i waited all day to talk.. and we talked a very short time.. so i was kinda upset.. acually pretty upset. so i cried.. like ive been doing ever since i got home.. about 5 days ago.. thats a otn of tears. so i cried myself to sleep for the 4th night in a row. im so sick of missing him, but what can i do, i cant jst stop missing him till i can be with him again.. so its pretty useless.. im stuck with this feeling till he comes home.. tonight. but i wont be able to saee him till tomorrow.. i hope! either way saturday ill be able to be with him bascially all day. in other words mom and i had ot babysit today. we had to watch my twin cousings who are 3, still on bottles, hardly talk, and stil in dipers. sounds fun!! pish fuck no! so i was there till about 12 noon. so mom and i went to scranton where i picked up the new finch cd, say hello to sunshine, and funeral for a friend - hours. their amazing.. i made mom listen to them.. she wasnt happy. so then we went to the mall where wher ei talked to this lady about my new phone.. since i guess it jst came out.. so there and NO fukcing covers for it.. whichmeans i have to keep the damn face plate i had.. damn it. maybe ill jst order it off the net. so now im going to go listen to finch. hey people be proud of me.. i cleaned my room yesterday.. without being told to!!!! plus it looks so nifty/clean. plus i cleaned the bathroom and the hallway.. go me!!