Panic attacks are fantastic.
I had a panic attack that made me end up calling mike and panicking about our relationship. i loath when i have too much time to analyze thing. My stress level is high because i have to finish all my community service which is still 6 and a half hours, plus my senior project, and my health class and my artistic ability is diminishing because i feel that whatever i do ends up not being good enough for anything. Its not that I'm a sore looser its just that whenever i put anything in a art competition i loose, i don't even get nominated for anything. Its hard to always loose at something you expect to be your major in college. I feel like i don't know where I'm going to go since photography is no longer working out for me. I'm probably not going to get a degree in art, i'm probably going to fucking end up doing mathematics or civics or something else i have no interest in. I want o be good at art, but i have no patience for drawing and making things with my hands ends up badly and i never have the opportunity to have anyone teach me. When i do create something I'm proud of, something I'm willing to contribute to society, its shot down and its really disheartening to always loose. I don't want to be a sore loose but it just happened because i never win anything. I have never won a thing in my life. I want to actually be good at something, i have no skills or hobbies or anything I'm really good at. I want to be good at something, anything.
Hope the panic attacks stopped.
:/