I'm babysitting at the moment and its getting worse with Brandon. He showed up at the door of the kids I was babysitting. I freaked out. My stupid ass left the door open and ran up the stairs. I locked myself in the bathroom. The kids just stayed in their room thank the gods. He pounded on the door and told me to come out saying he still loved me no matter what. Thats not fucking true. He left after a little bit. I didnt sleep last night because of it. Never have I been so fucking scared in my life. The doors stayed locked. I called my mom to bring me my duffel bag and I made up some excuse about my cds being in there. It actually has some of my clothes, cds and a dagger or two. I kept it with me the rest of the day and today. He's getting to me. More so than ever. This is going to reduce me to what I used to be. I couldnt live with myself if that happened. It has to end. All of it. Every bit of torture he's putting me through. Everything in me is telling me to go back to the old me. And then I have Skye and Amanda and Sam and all the SC for voices inside my head (So you know I must be close to insanity or past it). And its keeping me stable. Keeping me from Sams desk drawer where my past is. Thank god for them all.