Yes...I'm sitting here all alone while everyone else is out. How come when Friday shows up on the calender I have nothing to do?!? Always. Well sometimes I have stuff to do but then I don't usually want to do it. I want to run away right now and never look back because everything just plain sucks. Well Scott A. is possibly thinking about commiting suicide so Whitney is freaking out about it and I think she is gonna have a heart attack or something. And Kendall is stressing over nothing but it's bad. And Courtnee is in love with Scott. And Christa is perfect with boyfriend and all. How come stuff is so dumb sometimes. And why do I feel so left out sometimes. I know all my friends love me but I just feel so far away from them, like they don't ever understand why I say or do any of the things I do. Seriously. They all treat me like I'm a little kid sometimes and I do deserve it sometimes but I thought they knew me well enough not to judge me. I dunno. It feels like everyone just wants to talk about me behind my back.... Yup....I want to run away with Austin right now. That would be good. At least he tells me he loves me. I swear sometimes he's the only one who actually cares. He makes me laugh so hard. Am I in love with that kid?!?! I'm so scared that I am because he doesn't love me back...at least not that way. I want to go just lay around. Why do I feel so sick? Why do I feel like I hate myself so much sometimes. I feel so guilty about everything mean I've ever said or done to anyone. How come at school I feel so happy and when I get home everything comes unglued and I feel so much less put together. Don't e-mail me or comment that you care either. I'm sure you do but I don't even care right now. Oh and don't think I'll go commit suicide or anything! I'm just being lonely. I swear I am fine so yeah. But I'm leaving now. Bye!