Man, I am really dumb. Like way dumb. I swear everyone hates me half the time they talk to me. No one ever wants to be around me, not even me. And I seriously wouldn't care that everyone hated me but there is one specific person that it drives me crazy and makes me want to rip all my hair out and cry and never stop that he can hate me. And he says that he doesn't hate me. But I don't believe him. I don't feel like believing any of it. I seriously...I don't know. People are so scary sometimes and I get attached so easily and having them hate me scares me SO bad. I dunno...people say they love me but I don't know. Oh and I haven't heard from my mom in like 8 days which makes me sad because maybe she forgot about me and just doesn't care any more. But yeah, so I guess Austin hates me. Well I think he does at least because when I was talking to him on Friday he practically ignored me and then said "Katherine, we don't like you, go away." And I first I thought he was kidding so I said "fine" and walked off but then like during 5th hour, I was thinking oh crap, he was serious. He totally hates me because I am such a crappy person who can't deal with anything and the fact that I slap Mike--who is like his best friend--whenever he is stupid to Christa doesn't help at all. So Whitney came up at like 5. We sat around and called Casey and Jake and Shawn and Austin too. Well actually she called all those people and pretended not to care when she cared Austin but then I have no idea what happened. Suddenly I just felt like crying and Whitney talking to the kid on the phone sitting on my bed and I'm sitting on my comfy chair on the other side of the room curled up hugging myself feeling like no one but Whitney cares. I don't know. And then all of a sudden I just started crying and Whitney is freaking out...it really scared me. So according to Whitney what happened is Austin said it as a joke to see if I would slap him and he felt really bad when I just got up and walked out of the lunch room. He just didn't say anything. So Whitney calls him and says I've been all sad and he's like no I don't hate her. And then she tells him I'm crying so of course I instantly I stop crying and give her a glare of death because no one ever sees me cry except Whitney. And some other people but that's still rare. So I'm sitting there wanting to cry but not letting myself. And according to Whitney Austin says "There's no way in hell I could hate Katherine. I love her so much." But I don't know, Whitney felt so bad about how sad I was and Austin could have been lying too....So I don't know. I'm so messed up and I'm so glad I'm going to Yellowstone and getting away for three days. I seriously don't understand why I care so much about that kid. He is awesome yeah but I don't know. Sometimes it's like he absolutely hates me and it makes me SOOO sad and I want to just scream at everyone but then suddenly he's my best friend again. I was watching Channel 2 news and the sports thing came on and he was on it for soccer! I was "oh yay!" but then I remember that I'm trying to not like Austin anymore because he thinks I'm a moron. I'm sorry I'm boring you all with this. I suck at writing and putting my emotions on paper and complaining about this one thing is like an outlet. Other than that stuff though today was so RAD! This morning me and Nicole and Christa and Whitney went shopping for Yellowstone! It was cool and we got so much stuff. And then Whitney and me and Clair had girls night and watched Win a Date with Tad Hamilton which by the way is a cheesy movie but it's cute. I wish someone new how many smiles I had but yeah..............I wish I actually knew Trey. Oh yeah me and Whitney called him too but he wasn't home...Oh well. Yesterday was so good too! I went home with Nicole after school and Max rode the bus(yay!) So I hung out with Nicole till like 8. Her mom is so cool. We ate pizza and did some shopping for junk food and all this other stuff. I love Nicole's house. It's way fun and her dogs are awesome. We like jumped on the tramp and listened to music and just laid around while Penny--her show off little sister--did just that, showed off. She is such a little gymnast. Seriously she's like back flip, front flip, front lay out. I can do like one thing...a front flip and I still suck at it. And she's what 7? And she has a six pack! How unfair is that?!? I'm sorry but yeah it's not cool. My teeth really hurt from eating so much taffy and gum! Oh well. Yeah I have nothing else to say. Bye for now.