22:27 PM 24 Days... I leave in 24 days. Well possibly 25 but it's all the same to me. I'm leaving. Sometimes it seemed like a blessing...it's not. I'm so scared. I'm scared beyond all belief. I don't even know why I'm so scared. I make friends easily, I do well in school, I'm coming back. So why does this all seem like a nightmare? Today we started the packing. I hate packing. I always have. I wish someone else was packing for us. I seriously do. It would just feel better. I also realize I'm pretty much taking nothing to Ohio. Things I'm Taking -bed -dresser -box of pictures -box of letters/notes -yearbooks -cd's -cd player -couple of books -binder of poetry and such -clothes That's about it. It's weird. It seemed like there was stuff that I didn't want to leave here. It wasn't stuff...it was people. I would give away so much to spend my year here. I would live in a closet with just my clothes and school stuff for an entire year. I would sleep on the floor. I would do a lot of things just to stay here. My mom is letting Matt stay because she is afraid of teenage rebellion. Does that mean that she thinks he would get on crack and she trusts me not to? w00t if that's it. That would be cool. I like being trusted. I am trusted, that's for sure. I say I'm not, but I am. I think I'm going crazy. I can't stop...nevermind. I don't even want to talk about it. Oh well. Tomorrow I think I might go running. I want to see if they sold the Andersen's house. That's been bothering me a lot lately. I have no idea why. The idea of them not living there anymore is so strange. It's just...my second home is gone. *random tears* I wanted to cry so badly since I've gotten home. Except the convient times I don't feel like crying and when I do feel like crying I'm sitting at this computer while someone is in the room doing something important. It sucks. Everything seems so far. I'm having a hard time swallowing and choking back my emotions. Like no one is online. It's bumming me out. I wonder if anyone even cares I'm leaving actually, or if it's all for show. I've been so emo lately. Stupid emoness.