im at the library again...my boys finally came and now they are gone...its as if they werent even here...they were gone in a flash and my happiness was ripped away from so fast i didnt even see it coming...anways i was supposed to be on that flight back with them...but my dad lied to me...and he hasnt stopped lying to me about coming back...first it was the flight with my boys...then it was a flight for next weekend...then i was supposed to drive back with my cousins...none of it has happened...fuck him...anyways...i dont know what to do..i want to be with my family and friends but i want to be with my mom...if i leave i dont know when the next time i will get to see her...and i cant handle this anymore..i dont know what to do or think... anyways...i went to the mall today and it was my second time yay...i always see the most adorable little skater emo boys..but there all like 10 or something...anyways that wouldnt even matter because im in love with my sir thomas and no one else but him... sooo...i got some adorable ballet flats that are red today...yay and im going back soon to get a pair of high heels that i fell in love with and a purse...basically im job searching right now because it pretty much looks like im not going back to california anytime soon... FUCK MY LIFE