Waking up in the morning hours hoping life was done wiping crust off of my eyes preparing for the sun. Perfume lingers in the air walking down the hall people and laugh no one cares at all. Sitting in the noisy class talk I do not dare being silent and very still no one knows I'm there. Sweat is dripping down my neck soldiers on the field trying not to think wanting to be healed. Crying quiet in my bed letting tears flow out If everyone knew, anyone knew what I was thinking about. My poem today. In-school boredom + depression = inspiration. That is the equation. I am trying to forget about him. I am trying to find other people and things to think about. No one measures up. I dont want to feel the pain anymore. I dont want the agonizing twist in my abdomen, the frustrating drip of my tears. I dont want to feel the pain of losing someone. I got glasses today. I feel more distinguished and intelligent when I wear them. Now I can see! Went driving with my dad today. I am good at driving. I cant wait to get my liscense. I am an official cha-cha master now... I freaking rock... social dance is fun. I am going to a football game tommorow. I am going shopping on saterday. I have turned to bond as my music choice lately. Bond is a european group. They play violins, violas, and cellos. They mix classical string music with disco, oriental, samba, and gypsy themes. Not all at once mind you. I like it. I have chipmunk dimples when I smile... stupid rodents... stupid smile. I shouldnt smile. Its gross. My friends are fading away from me. We where close for awhile... now we arent. I avoid them, they avoid me. Friends are overrated anyway... I dont need them. Got a book at the library. I am going to continue the vampire chronicles. I kind of stopped reading them over the summer. I hate life. Blood mingles with my tears. Scars bright white against gold. Eyes shine out in the gloom. Death inside my living body. Someone put me out of my misery. in the name of amnesia