I've not so recently discovered that I REALLY enjoy being a bitch. Really really enjoy it. What this means is, that if I have a chance to be a bitch at you, and take a stab at you when I see an opening, I will. Also, this means that I am almost constantly in a state of ruining friendships with everyone that I am, and ever will be friends with. We have actually seen this amazing discovery in the past, multiple times, with multiple people. Recently I have been practicing the "hold your tongue" technique in order to eliminate any chance of me being a bitch. As long as I dont say want I want to say to you, when I want to say it, I am ok. This method, however, causes me to sometimes explode in new and interesting ways, which also puts me at risk of being a bitch. The end result of this whole fucking thing, is that there is no helping me. God. I dunno even know why I like to do that either. I dont know if I have a deranged form of a superiority complex, I want to prove that you really are under my power or some shit. I dunno if it is because I just want to ruffle your feathers. Or maybe its just the simple fact that I am a bitch. I am not just any kind of bitch though, I am an opportunistic bitch. This means that I am gonna wait untill you say or do something completly stupid (what I think is completly stupid) and then I am going to rail you about it. I think, for some reason, that this is insanely fun, and I am curious to find out where this ungodly pleasure that I feel comes from. Cuz I have no idea. Also, I have recently been trying to burn out my frustrations while playing video games. And, i've discovered that the more video games I play, the more docile I become. This could also be true with certain kinds of medications, of depressants. I just dunno what to do. Basically. I dont know if I have tried everything I can at this, if I should let myself be continually frustrated, or if I should not give a shit. Any ideas?