I feel like sometimes I know exactly who and what I am, only to second guess myself later. I attempted to describe myself (to myself) as an animal. I came up with a few. If anyone cares or actually knows me feel free to post.

Leopard: I've connected myself with this animal for as long as I can remember. Instead of making friends when I was young, I stayed in my room and pretended that I had all types of leopard companions. I feel like the leopard because it is a pretty opportunistic animal, if it cant catch its food it will just steal it from someone else. The leopard knows when to pick its battles, its not gonna fight you all the time, but when it does decide to fight you its because it knows it can win. The leopard isnt hugely social creature, but it is willing to tolerate and coexist with others if it means it can get something out of it.

Snake: Associating myself with the snake came soon after I learned about chinese astrology (cheesy, I know.) The snake is usually alone, unless it needs warmth from other snakes in the winter. The snake is vain, shedding its skin for a new shiny one every year. The snake is a charmer however, and is often associated with seduction. I feel like that sometimes, like I am just charming people. I think I do that because I feel the need to paid attention to sometimes, I want to be noticed and wanted. I think the snake with charm when it needs to, but if it feels threatened it isnt afraid to bite. And I can bite when I need to.

Buffalo (or bison, whatev): This is the only non-predatory animal I connect myself to. Even though I often have a disdain for beings weaker than me, as soon as I see someone get attacked I automatically throw myself into the fight. I feel like that is a buffalo trait because if there is an attacker they will form a circle around the young and the weak. They are willing to put themselves in harms away to protect others. I think it is weird that I feel like a protector, because I also feel like a predator a lot of the time.

Owl: This is a recent find for me. The owl is a creature that is on a higher plane than others I think. It doesnt have a great grip on reality, it watches the world but doesnt have anything to do with it. It is more introspective and private than other animals. Its eyes see a little deeper into the spiritual and emotional nature of life than the regular routine of living. Owls are almost in a dream state. I feel like I am in a dream most of the time, I might be forcing myself deeper into my subconscious so I dont have to deal with the reality of daily life though.

So thats that, those are the animals I feel like. I dont think there is anyone thing that could describe me, ever. Which I guess is ok. I think I am trying a put on myself just so I have something to rely during this personal semi-crisis. I think I have put off knowing what I am for too long, and now I am scrambling to find me before I have to deal with this coming change. Better late than never, right?

In the name of finding myself?