god............i think im going to be sick.......i think i am the stupidest girl on earth right now. i actually believed him when he told me it was just a "guy friend" on the phone the other day. i cant believe that i keep going back to him. hes like oxygen to me though. he consumes all my thoughts when he looks at me and apologizes. its like he completely takes over my mind....is it love? im not sure....am i just paranoid? i have no idea. and then tonight he put me on hold because he got another call...then he told me that it was for his brother and hed call me back soon.....and then i realize that his brother is out of town and hes home alone...and then i realize that its been over an hour and he still hasnt called....i mean is this something to worry about? or am i just paranoid? i wish i knew.......ugh...i hate that he gets me so worked up over stupid stuff like that. no guy has ever done this to me...but then again, ive never worried about other guys cheating on me like i do him. i do care about him a lot...a lot....but then he goes and gets drunk and treats me like shit....but.....uhhhhhh....i wish i knew what i was talking about. i dont want to be this way about him....ya know? i dunno....wish i did though....any advice would be good right now....... Krystal