so yeah yesturday i turned 18.....woohoo for me...haha that was the worst freakin bday that i have ever had. i dunno....i just wasnt into the whole thing anyway...and it all turned out to be nothin but drama last night, and ill spare the boring details....but it all ended with me crying myself to sleep.....haha *go ahead and laugh* im such a loser hu? i wish that i could be a diferent person....someone that people cared about, someone that can control my emotions instead of crying myself to sleep in the middle of the night. i hate that i am me..... and yesturday i came out and told Ferry that if he doesnt want to hear from me again to just tell me...and then he was like "no way in hell am i gonna lose you, and dont worry because u will never lose me"....and for some reason i feel like that is not true.....i feel like i have already lost him. he is just so distant and it hurts that we dont have the same relationship that we used to. i dunno what to do anymore...i know you all dont care about my life anyway...so im gonna go now... laterz, Krystal