ok, i dont think ive ever been this depressed before in my life. yesterday was the worst. i normally go to bed at like 11 and i was so upset i went to bed at 8. then since i couldnt sleep, at 9:30, i sat up, cried for like half an hour. it was bad. i dont wanna go back to that place again. it even scared the shit out of my parents. just, not a pretty sight. i want to die. im in the next "phase" of my depression. yesterday was the alone, suicidal phase. today, i feel like i need to talk. but still kinda wanna be alone. always suicidal. i hate my life.