~Gasp~

Well, there is a secret i have kept from the world....something very few know about me. and it's truly tragic and horrifying...please tell no one of this...but... i have an avril lavigne cd. and i'm listening to it right now. i don't care how much of a 'poser' she is. i don't care how it totally diminishes ma cool...it's catchy. and pretty songs. i like it, and i am listening to it so HUSH. today was miss crys' bday.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRYS!! one week after mine. ha. i am older. heck yes....we scorpios gots ta stick togedda. so i've been contemplating....and a lot of people hate me. like they can't stand me and they've only met me for a bit of time. it's really sad....at least if i did something like lit their dog ablaze....that would make some sense. but nope. these people just have a strong disliking for me, and i can't understand it. i don't like people disliking (or even hating in some cases) me. it's sad, and really a waste of time and energy on their part. or even if i was actively a bitch, which i could be aware of most of the time (people like to point it out to me--which is good, keeps me grounded, and i like), but i'm not? i'm like pretty polite to people. i'm not even that mean to the little freshmen because i don't like being mean. *counts*...yeah it's like 5 people. at least. well...the biggest thing is when i meet the friend of a friend people. i get really close to people fast, and i think it bothers their friends? sam's friends HATED me (and most of em still do) when they first met me. more particularly karina...she even said it was because she was jealous because i took her sammy away from her....*shivers* then yeah whenever i meet peoples' friends. it just...i dunno. they seem to have fishy feelings toward me...it's quite sad. maybe it's my dynamic personality, i don't know. yeah...they're all jealous. it's sad, because i guarantee you if they got to know me on different terms, they would like me. we'd all be pals. i get along with just about everyone when i meet them myself. not like through people...that's when things go sour. but alas, such is my life. and there is nothing i can do. c'est la vie. hahaha in french today, michelle and i had to do a four-line skit, and originally it was: tu vas aller a la poste? oui, je vais y aller. tu vas acheter des timbres? oui, je vais en acheter quelques-uns. <> are you going to the post office? yes i'm going there. are you going to buy stamps? yes i'm going to buy some of them. ^in the literal translation mind you. then like a minute before we had to go on, that very delayed lightbulb went on in my head, and i decided how totally lame was this gonna be? so then i was like DUDE let's make it funny. or at least more interesting. then came the next phase... tu vas aller a la banque? oui, je vais y aller. tu vas voler tout de l'argent? non, mais je vais en voler la plupart. <> are you going to the bank? yes i'm going there. are you going to steal all the money? no but i'll steal most of it. yeah that was fun. good times in french class yes.....other than the utterly horrific times....sam can comprehend even though she's not in that class. she knows who else IS in that class. and makes me sad..... *stares at floor all emo-like* yes i love writing long entries. what can i say. i talk a lot (as many would know) but you know it seems to be entertaining. just ask anyone who's read my profile on the space. they all say 'wow i actually read your whole profile and it was really interesting and funny! i was surprised! but i read the whole thing because it was so great!' etc. etc. yes i love a good ego boost now and again...but i get so few you see, it's rather difficult to raise this girl's self-esteem to the point of it being an actual ego. especially one of annoyance....really i have no ego. and nearly no self-esteem. it slowly dwindles as days continue. soon all shall be lost, we will see. goodnight loves. p.s. tomorrow is the every 15 minutes big demonstration. oh yeah i am SO looking forward to that. big car accident where all the popular kids die. all i need is some popcorn and a video camera and i'm set for life dude.... excuse me while i float away into my heaven. actually it's only missing one thing....that won't come back to me for quite some time. if at all. we shall see....
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