the tears are building ..

by suicidalscars
Listening to: staind-zoe jane
Feeling: pathetic
im in a really fucked up mood tonight. Im so pised off with myself. Im so fucking pathetic. I can never seem to get it right. I can never seem to commit it right. Eugh i shud get sum1 to shoot me instead. Iseem to be crap VERY crap at this suicide thing. But then i suck at everything. I need a sharper knife some hotter water a deeper bath...bigger veins. FFs i suck at everything. WHY ARE YOU SO PATHETIC. You cant even end ur fucked up life so u fuck it up even more. fuck it...let me stay awake all night with my insomnia and let frayer take it all over and let mum beaqt shit out of me and let dad abuse me and let everyone hate me...but please.....let me be better at killing myself...please
Read 24 comments
RYN: You may not know it yet, but you DO have the strength. When I found mine(and believe me, it was nowhere near overnight), I don't think anyone on this planet was more surprised than I was. I may not know you, but I believe in my heart that you have that same strength buried somewhere deep inside you.

Just remember something,- You can either allow pain to detroy you, or you can grow from it & allow it to make you stronger & wiser.
Oh gosh, I know you don't know me, but if you EVER EVER need to talk, if you ever think a conversation would make you feel better, PLEASE talk to me. My AIM is WeDrewHearts and my e-mail is WeDrewHearts@yahoo.com
<3 Brianna
dont kill yourself please, i love you and i dont want you to die.
Just please dont you have so much more to live for.
Just dont let these people do these things to you. Just keep on going, i know you can!
I just got msn so if u wanna talk
[Anonymous]
no but u can email me babydoll007@talk21.co.uk
[Anonymous]
lol! yeah it looks a bit weird on the computer..
m/ is that thing they do at concerts when they stick their pinky and their pointer out.

thanks doll, that means alot to me too :)
I'll try to make you proud. I don't know why I pass out mayby it's because ma body is weak and it needs food. Stupid body. I'll try.
[Anonymous]
kittie do rock m/

i don't think you're pathetic at all. i know what you're going through(i've been there myself) and I know why you're thinking like that. and i know its hard and stuff.

if you ever need to talk to someone who knows what you're going through, i'm here *hugs*
Thankz I have been for just over 7months and I am getting really really stressed because of it. Do you pass out all the time 2??? I just want to be ok again. I'm so proud of you because I know how hard it is. Well done.
[Anonymous]
I hope you are feeling better. It's ok I am like that 2 I must have tried more than 50 times but I am still FUCKING here. Cause I can't even kill ma self properly. It makes me feel like shit. I am sorry you feel like this you don't deserve this pain. If you want to talk just let me know.
[Anonymous]
it's from 'Brackish' by Kittie. Awesome song...
Grr Im hurtin u =[ Im a bitch!!! But ur not i loooooove Youuu! Erm...Grrr u smell like chicken poo that hens have eat and pooed out again! Smelly rach =P! I dont like this site nemore its gay!
Im goin cos u wont SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
Bubyes My Darlin Suger Lump =P
Love Ya Sweetie always and Forever!
~Zoe
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
[Anonymous]
...It's been 10 years since & I have been grateful for everyday since, no matter how miserable some may have been.
My heart goes out to you, because I know what it's like to be that girl. I hope that you find your way. Trust me, there is always hope, no matter how bleak it may look from where you stand today... I am living proof of that.

If you ever need someone to listen, drop me a line. *hugs*
...I've been where you are now & have even gone beyond the futile attempts, being beyond lucky that I even survived the my last desperate attempt to make the agonizing pain stop. I realized in those chaotic & terrifying moments when my life hung in the balance, that death was the last thing that I really wanted. I reached my ephiphany through terror & lived to tell about it...
I just stumbled upon your diary & was deeply affected by your words. Although I don't know you, I felt while reading this that I was staring at a portrait of myself 10 years ago. I once felt your same desperate pain, cried those same numbing tears & failed to see the possibility of what the future could bring. I thought I wanted death,- until I found myself lying on a stretcher in the emergency, fighting for my own life...
No I have yahoo!
cmon cmon dont talk like that! that isnt cool!
I don't know you, so this will have more meaning.

You're nto pathetic, the fact that you aren't doing it right means you don't want to do it, trust me, if you wanted to die, you'd do it right. Please, just give everything another shot, start over, change the way you think. I assure you, everything will be ok.
[Anonymous]
well i made one but .. im guna delete it cus i dunt like the username but i love the layout .. if u wanna look at it its .. summerdream26 or summerdreams26 .. lol sumthin like that
[Anonymous]
ANDHOWWOULDYOUPLANONDOINGTHATBIGBOOBS???
[Anonymous]
I'm rootin for ya! I know what it's like.. I hope that you can pull yourself out of this I would hate for anything to happen to you. I don't really know you but I think I've learned much from your diary and maybe could learn more?-michelle
[Anonymous]
THANKYOUFUCKWIT YOUHAVEBIGBOOBS HMMMSTEPAWAYFROMTHEBOOBS !!! Heeharrr me luffs u shhhtinka! *Mwah* =P Bubyeness Princess XxxxxxX
[Anonymous]
question...where did your header text come from? i like...alot
[Anonymous]