Last night felt like the first time that it ever happened. That time when I thought ‘is my daddy supposed to be hurting me like this?’ And yes it hurt. It hurt a shit load. And there was a lot of blood. An unusual amount. I can feel that there is internal bruising It hurts to walk I have grazes all over my back. And my chest is sore from where you threw me onto my chest and violated me from the back. When you were done with me I took a double edged blade and went completely sick on my wrists and legs. I lay on my bed room floor bleeding and listening to otep ‘jonestown tea’ on repeat. I think the thing that hurts the most though is the fact that I know that you don’t love me. Or maybe you love me too much. Or maybe you’re just a pervert. Maybe you deserve the fucking death penalty. Maybe I should love you like that too.