I am so fucking numb. I dont feel anything. I slammed my fingers in the door a few times until my finger broke. It bled and now it is bruising. It hurt so badly but I loved it. I vomited. I think i almost fainted. But I loved it. It was such a rush and i could finally feel something great again. I am ringing my cocaine dealer. I am sick of this feeling. I just feel like im off balance. This is why i am so numb. No cocaine. So fuck it. Im getting wired again. I want to be addicted. I want to feel that sweet powder tickling my nose once more and pleasuring my brain. My brain is screaming without you. Your my best friend. I love you. If you do not understand my love for cocaine then you have never been in love.