I am on a ledge and I am afraid im going to fall. ever woken up covered in your own vomit unaware of your surroundings? that was my own stupid fault. 50 excedrin tabs made me lean over the toilet for several hours. yesterday I felt good. And decided to try and hurt myself. I tried to get my cd player into the bathroom plug it in and drop it in the bath. To my disappointment it didnt reach. I couldnt get the blade out of the safety razor. So I did something I had recently promised a good friend I would never do. i got an exacto knife. And slit my wrists. Maybe with all the medication the blood didnt come out. It didnt. Or maybe I didnt cut deep enough. It hurt like hell. I had a fantasy of perhaps saying 'fuck you' in blood, crazy. I am getting more and more suicidal. Do I want to hurt someone? No, but I want to scream. I have never tried to electrocute myself before. Would I have done it if the cord had reached? Yes. Would it hurt? fuck yes instead of everything i touch turning to gold it turns to shit.