I don't know where to start, But I know what needs to be said.. I never really ask for help or advice but it's a special case this time.. I'm scared, I have no other way to say it, but I'm scared. I have been somewhat seeing this guy for awhile now. Where not together... but were not all that single either.. I don't really know what the we are...That's not the part that scares me tho... I'm worried/nervous/scared/happy/sad because I in all honesty love him. Yeah, I know what you thinking.. why should that scar someone? Well, it's like this, Just about every single guy I have had strong feelings for always ends up hurting me in drastic way. Cheaters/liars/users/dick heads.. And I don't want to go thru that pain again. And it feel like a uber bitch for saying this but because of pass experiences and rumors I have a very difficult time trusting people. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be hurt again. I try to show how much I care.. But I have a huge problem expressing emotion and feelings sometimes. And as all my friends know, I have an even bigger problem talking about it. I have always been that way tho, I'm not one to talk about things that bother me. Why? I don't know I hate drama and conflict. He says he loves me and everything, And I do believe him and I do trust him, But their is always this feeling I get. I really can't help it. Their no why I should tho,Cause he has done nothing wrong and .. I'm just being paranoid?? What's my fucking problem!! ARGH! I don't like bitchen like this, Like this feeling I get, It's like I'm honesty expecting to wake up one day and this will all be over,, And I DONT want it to end. I really do love him. I just can't help but feel like I'm in some sort of play or movie or something like that. Get what I mean? Almost as if it's not real. It makes me feel so horrible to even think that too and still I don't why I do. I just don't want to be cheated on or lied to again. So if anyone out their who is actually bored enough to read this crap.. don't be shy leave a message and let me know. -xxdanixx-