When it comes to relationships I feel like I have some kind of force field between the person and my heart, I tend to not let myself fall for the person till months or even years into the realtionships, I was with Tyler for five years and I did not start saying "I love you" too him till two years into the relationships. I have a problem so I have been seeing Zack for like a little less than a month now and were not dating just kinda hanging out and hooking up, I do like him but I am not falling for him. I enjoy spending time with him but I am not ready for a relationship just yet. It is still to soon after Tyler and I feel like I am still harboring negative views towards men and relationships. ANYWAY to the point about three days ago I was over Zack's house and we were relaxing in the hot tub he looked me right in the eyes and told me he was starting to fall for me and he wants to be more than just friends.

I was speechless. Zack and I had a talk about this before we starting hanging out, I told him how I was not looking for anything long term just yet and he agreed that he felt the same way, and when I reminded him about that he said he felt that way at first but the more he got to know me the more he liked me. He said he has never met a girl like me before and that I am perfect. He wants to spend as much time with me as possible, I am always on his mind and he dosen't want any other girl. He wants me and only me.

All I could say was that I'm sorry and that I'm not ready for this, he really threw a curved ball at me. I told him that I like him and that I enjoy spending time with him but I just can't do it, I kissed him and left and said that maybe we should take a break for awhile, just to cool things down between us. I felt and still feel bad, I haven't seen him since that night, he have still talked but I know how upset he is, I didn't think he would get so attached to me. Don't get me wrong he is really sweet and a nice guy I just feel like something is off, He is overly nice sometimes. Maybe I'm just crazy I just have a feeling that he is hiding something. I feel like a horrible person now.