I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!

Listening to: KSE
Feeling: dead

This should be all so easy, I'm sick of being with my boyfriend we have been together for five years, two and a half of those years he has been living with me and my family and I have had enough, I’m so freaking done with him but I feel like I can’t get out of this relationship. Long story short he came to cape cod to live with his father and step-mom when he was very young, his step-mom is not nice to him at all and his dad died 2 years ago, he bounced from friend to friends house than came to live with me, he lost his job truck and father all in the same year. BTW I am 21 and he is 24. Anyway so he does work but only in the summer time thanks to me for getting him the job, he has no car and no GED. I feel like I just fell out of love with him, don’t get me wrong I do care about him that’s why I have not kicked him out yet cause he has nowhere to go… but I want to see other people, I want to go out and have fun he wants to stay home and play Xbox. We had a chat last week about this and he has changed a little spending less time playing call of duty and more time with me but I really don’t want to hang with him anymore I just don’t have fun at all. I’m sad I feel like a total bitch, he told me after his dad died I am all he has left and this is pretty much true since all his family is far away and his step mom won’t take him in. most of his friend he lost and I am like trapped in this relationship. I won’t throw him on the streets my heart is to kind, but I want to see other people so bad I want to experience life. Five years on and off so it’s not like I have wasted my whole teenage years on him but I still want to get out there and find someone who won’t use me someone who will want to go out with me and have fun and so that I don’t have to pay for everything. I’m so lost and confused; I don’t know what to do all I know is that I am completely miserable. I do still love and care about him just not in that way, I know he is trying to change but it’s like too late… I don’t want to miss my change to have fun and meet someone who will actually treat me right. I just care way too much for people i want to help him but I’m sick of being a mother figure, I clean and I cook and I pay for like everything. I don’t know how much I can’t take, I was going to tell him tonight but when I came home he surprised me with washing mine and the rest of the house window screens which was nice that way I didn’t have to do it. My plan was to have him move out of my room and into the room downstairs where he plays his Xbox but the problem there is I would still have to share my car and see him, I can’t win. I won’t make him homeless. What the hell did I do to deserve this? It is my own fault in a way in the past we have gone on breaks and it was always HIM breaking it off but I was so in love with him I would try and get us back together and it worked he never had a problem leaving me in my time of great need why can’t I do the same? Granted I was never homeless but still there was a lot of shit where I needed him and he could not be bother to help or listen to me, in a way I should thank him cause it taught me to only rely on myself and that I don’t need other people to help me. I just wish I was a cold as he was. I feel like if I leave him he will either wander the streets and kill himself, he actually said last week when we talked that he might as well jump off a bridge if I leave him….someone help me

Read 3 comments
I wish it was that easy, I feel so bad and sorry for him it really sucks, and I don't want to make him homeless, I think I am just going to have him move downstairs for now stop paying for everything and then he will find a place to go. I need to do this, I have kinda met someone I liked and want to have some fun and not be tied down by this mess I am in.
get rid of this freeloader. get your life back.and do not look back. as long as you enable him things will never change.you are not responsible for his life he is. been thee.. done that
[Anonymous (70.19.159.65)]
that sucks
[Anonymous (24.61.189.108)]