How am I gonna be an optimist about this?

Listening to: bastille pompeii
Feeling: tired

There are times where our past comes back to haunt us?

We all make mistakes and we learn from them, but to have the mistakes come back and hunt us after we already learn from it is torture.

There is not much that I can do as this point, I must accept things for what they. Mistake or not, I still did it. And I guess this is life's way of putting me in a time out. I don't think I deserve this but then again who actually believes they need to be punished. I'm not a monster, but I'm not an angle.,

My problmes are my own fault (not really).

I do know how to fix things, or at least make them better. I really don't care its just the way things are, how they always been and will be. I love my family. I love my friends, but sometimes I feel like they don't really know me. I feel like I get treated poorly a lot of the time. It dosen't bother me much. Compared to my past I have gotten a lot better at this.

It used to be really really bad a few years ago, even last year I was bad with what I let people do to me. I have grown and changed and I am stronger then I ever was. I used to let people walk all over me and be so mean to me, I put up with so much abuse but I am not that little girl anymore. I'm not scared. I don't deserve to be treated like shit.

So now with I fight back or say no it makes me look like that bad person, cause I'm standing up for myself. In time things will get better. I need go now, I just got back from the gym and starting writing this. Now its time to shower, change and head to work. Hopefully we don't a snow storm tonight...ugh

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