I'm stressin, the best way I can put this is... I feel like I'm living two totally different lifes. One I can be myself and the other I feel like I'm being someoneels. Someone who is not me at all or the life I want. My family is the one where I can't be myself and the life with my "friend" I can be myself. I don't know what to do. I need the life with my family to get shit done and go to school and manage my life, but I also need the life with my friend. He really means a lot to me.... but sometimes.... I can't even describe the feeling. Its like he dosent idk... I don't want to say it really... I'm so confused. I do love him and want to be with him. But I want him to be happy... but this mixed messages are fucking with my head. Everything is buiding up on me. Everyones at my throat it seems. My sister is totally not helpful and every chance she gets is mean to me, my mum dosent trust me and that's all my fault. I feel like I have failed her as a daughter. I just don't know what to do. Either way I'm unhappy, I want both worlds to come together again.... but that will take a long long time. And it might not even work. See what happen was my mom hates my "friend" now.... so it makes things so difficult. I'm starting collage in a few weeks... I just want my life to be ok again.... I want things to be normal my emotions to be normal. I wish I knew the truth.