By reading the title of this entry one would think this would be some crazy sex filled entry well sorry to disappoint some of you but it’s not, To tell you all the truth I don’t know why I am calling this entry positions it just seemed like a good idea, and just popped into my head.
Today was better than the past few, I am feeling better than I did yesterday too I think this cold allergy thingy is almost done. WELL…. I think well I don’t know actually if I think, believe or feel this but since I am just talking in circles I might just say it I have officially moved on from Tyler not to someone else just yet but the feeling of “love” even though I don’t believe in it anymore is gone, I do not feel attached to him anymore nor do I have any sort of physical attraction, it is like we have gone from lovers to just friends in a matter of days which I am fine with he not so much I know it is killing him but to honest I don’t care.
Back to the title positions, I am always being put in a position that I don’t want to be in but that is all changing, like right now for instance as I am writing this, I am on Facebook chat as well this guy who we will just call King has been bothering me every single night, I don’t want to be rude and be like leave me the fuck alone, King has had a huge crush on me since I was like 15 and back then I kind of liked him too but I was with Tyler flash forward 6 years I am now single he knows it and keeps asking me to send him “stuff” and to come up and visit him, he lives off cape too, and every night I tell him NO and he still keeps trying, I mean he is a nice guy but just as a friend nothing more, most of the time I just don’t answer him or just say lol and leave it at that.
Positions always in a bad position, from now on that will not be the case, now you all should see why I called this entry positions, not because it’s filled with dirty acts of sex mentioning all the different styles but instead more about life and what we get ourselves into, and what we can do to fix and or get out of them, I am finding myself more and more everyday now, trying to figure out why I let people do the things they do to me, and let them run my life and because of that ruin my own chances of enjoying my life, because of this fear I have I have let my life go out without enjoying it but not anymore. The position I was in it now no longer an issue, I am facing my fears and not letting this get to me any longer.
I can do this, I know I can, I don’t need him by my side or anyone for that matter, I am strong and I can be more independent I want my own place I want my freedom and if I play my cards right over the next few months I will achieve my goals. And will never be in this kind of position again.