When I was seven, i prayed. Yeah, me. I prayed, to God. I prayed that "my mummy could be better" (she was in an institue). I prayed to stop all the violence and hate. I prayed not to hurt, i prayed not to cry. I prayed to be somebody else, somebody stronger. I prayed a lot. And i sang; i sang the hymns. I thought, if i sang for Him, he'd listen. All i really wanted was for her to get better.

Don't you just hate it when you're sitting there, flowing, then everything around you hits you? And you just need to scream? And you cry, but it doesn't work, it doesn't help, you just cry some more, but nodody can hear you, and nobody wants to hear you, because they're crying too...

I thought He wanted to hear me. He never answered. She never got better. I suppose, the drugs do help. I'm still the same boy i always was, i still see violence - which is, understandably, very difficult to alter, and thus can be struck out. I don't cry often, but when i do, i cry alone. I've lost my hymn voice, and i sing only in a small voice, a soothing voice, a light voice. A hurt voice. How can i have faith?

I've lost my religion, and i feelm as though i've lost all my hope.

Ignorance is bliss. How i lust to be ignorant.