It seems to be getting harder and harder. Work was fine. Family's fine. Friends... i guess, are fine. I can't reach out right now, and nobody's contacting me. I can't say i don't feel utterly rejected, but it's not like i have a lot of friends. Jeez, do i even have any??

I'm angry too. I'm angry because everybody seems to constantly fuck things up for themselves, and then whine and gripe and complain. I'm trying to sort myself out, to un-fuck things, i'm not complaining, and i have to put up with all this horrible noise coming from the mouths of people who aren't worth listening to... And i just don't know what to do with myself.

My rehab counsellor and i also talked about me not sleeping: i'm having a lot of difficulties with that, even after hours of exhausting work. Can't sleep, not like i need to. So, i'm constantly run-down. Additionally, we talked about emotional energy, and how i'm using so much of it up on trying to keep my head above the water, that i don't have any left for the things i really need to do. This makes me even more lethargic. I don't know where i'm heading, but it's not pleasant. Who knows though, maybe i'll swing out of this?

Fuck you for reading this. If you talked to me, i would tell you what's going on. And then i wouldn't have to write this; wouldn't have to feel this.

I don't mean that. I mean to ask for help. I'm hurting, and i need a hand to hold.

God, i'm so drained. A good night's sleep, just one. I don't remember the last time i got one of those.