I said to Vicky that i wouldn't sleep when i got home. I didn't lie; it's now 10 to 1 in the morning. I have work tomorrow, but i'm looking forward to it. Today was good (by today, i mean Sunday, yesterday). There was a new chick. I get told off for saying "chick" instead of "girl" or "lady" at work. Bah.

Pink Floyd:

There's a silence surrounding me

I can't seem to think straight

I'll sit in the corner

And no one can bother me

I think I should speak now

I can't seem to speak now

My words won't come out right

I feel like I'm drowning

I'm feeling weak now

But I can't show my weakness

I sometimes wonder

Where do we go from here?

'Keep Talking', from my favroutite Floyd album, 'The Division Bell'.

Saturday night ended with me collapsing upstairs sometime after 3am, after supervising and entertaining Bryony and her friends. I'm pretty shattered, but it doesnt take a lot of energy to think enough to write.

Miranda phoned today. She apologised for hurting me earlier, said she was feeling bad. I forgave her, and made her promise to talk to me next time. Doesn't explain her behaviour at all. She said, she woke up on Sunday and found i wasn't there, and missed me. Hmm. If this happens again, i will leave her. I have not forgiven Lloyd for acting out against whoever he feels like, expecting them to come back afterwards, and while i have forgiven here this time, there's no reason why i should forgive her a second time. Hurt me once, shame on you; hurt me twice, shame on me.

My mother interupted me during the phone conversation. She said Miranda had called earlier, and that she was damn lucky Kyle asnwered instead of her. She is never gonna forgive Miranda, because she saw the look on my face, she saw how much i was hurt when i came back home, she saw the total rejection i felt, and she knows that Miranda caused it. She can't understand why i've forgiven her.

I did enjoy talking to her on the phone. I missed her. The her that doesn't hurt me. It's just a shame there's another her too. We will see.

I also loved talking with Vicky today. I've missed her, as a friend i can share with. We have a lot in common it seems, and we get on well. We've even got the same hair colour (auburn, damnit).

I don't have much else to say. Although, i did find this in 'boy':

December 15, 2005 [Private Entry]

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"i have an idea. an open relationship."

"i wish i knew what you were thinking". romantic. always melts me.