27-feb-05 // 23:11
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"Alright, shit'ed"
This is how my mother's partner wishes to greet her.
And she said that, after all the abuse she's gone through, after everything she's ever let other people take from her, she can surely say that she's a stronger, better person ' and will certainly never allow herself to be subjected to such behaviour ever again.
But I'm sure it-s just his way of saying he cares, right?
Now, when my mother's upset, she tends to go into a sort of anti-me mode. It's not anti-offspring, because she's fine - generally nicer, even - to the others. On this particular weekend it was (or, is, since the event occurs on this very day) the motherfucker's birthday. I adopted this title for him after my own mother herself pointed out that he is useless as a role model, and after my grandmother proved that he'S only around because it works for her (my mother). In all truthfulness, he's a rational, average person. But all this is beside the initial point I was trying to make; this information only serves for you to build up a better picture of my perception of this character, so that you can decide whether or not my bitter attitude to all his ever-so-fucking-delightful mannerisms is fair or unjust. Thankfully, though, my girlfriend supports my view by offering insights I had not considered; as does my brother, who has stated that 'he can be ok sometimes, but other times he's like a child. My brother is a child himself, so knows his shit.
So my mother's in an anti-me mood (for whatever reason), so I ask her if there's something wrong: "Are you ok mum?" No spite, despite how small she'd made me feel (reasons for this feeling of mine will surely be written sometime, just, not at this time).
As I leave, I linger in the kitchen looking for something to nosh on; this is when he enters the kitchen (which leads to her bedroom), and announces his statement of passionate love. I decide not to listen in on them, knowing that my mother's unfortunate and ignorant hypocrisy will only upset me further. He leaves, and she shouts after him, since he's walked away while she was still talking. I'm not sure what she's said, so out of curiosity, I ask her. She tells me that he left the door open [to her bedroom], and that he laughs at her when she does it at his [place of residence]. Such warmth, no? I offer to close the door, and I do so.
I doubt anybody could help but either side with me, or figure that I'm just taking stuff out of proportion. But that's ok. I don't need you to 'be on my side', and I don't care if you're against me. This writing does not exist as a basis for which you judge my opinions and me. Instead, this text is simply an account of an event I otherwise may not be able to commit to memory.
I realised that something like this was necessary after alerting my grandmother to the behaviour of both adults in our household. Unfortunately, I was unable to recall any events to demonstrate my concern, and left her thinking that, perhaps, things aren't as bad as I think they our; that I'm being irrational, or have a personal disliking for this guy, or for my mother. So, I've written this, and will, hopefully, add to it, to form a whole body of information on the Next New Dad.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but my mother deserves more than 'alright, shithead'.