When we started, everyone was happy, but they warned me. When it was happening, i was generally unhappy. They told me what a fool i was. Destruction is imminent, they would say. Pain is unavoidable. When we finished, everyone was happy again, but as they say, they'd warned me. Still dropping spiteful comments. I'm being played, they'd say. Right where i'm wanted. All this is was stressful. I didn't know wether to believe the rumours, the "wisdom", and cut her off completely, like a cancer.

image: two children crippled, holding each other up. when each looks away, the other cries. they both carry mirrors on their back. onlookers tut in church dress and shake their heads.

I am so tired of people sabotaging that which they can't have, just to spite others. "It's not out of spite", they say; Then what is it that possesses you to do such things? If you were decent, you would consider the effect your words and actions will have. But, clearly, you are not.

image: great salivating beast blindly trampling fingers like ants, bundling towards unknown destination

Concerning Miranda: she left me without reason, told me she wasn't interested in anyone but resumed her "dates" as though we were never together, and still openly flirts with me. Why was i ever so captivated? My esteem suffered another hit when we broke up. What happens when a person is told, over and over and over, that they're not worth even close to what they thought they were? Over and over again.

image: clock melting on stage. doesn't seem to ever stop. audience laughs and applauds.

"Yeah, i hurt him, doesn't matter, he smiles back at me now". Am i angry (Does it matter unless i am, since anger is the only emotion you really understand)? I told you the answer to that. An old friend said the following, and showed everyone what she was underneath her skin:

"When we're on pills and someone gets down, the only reason we try to bring them back up is so that we can feel better ourselves, don't you think?"

image 1: empty landscape for miles. tiny character attempts to paint a rainbow in the sky and frustrates themselves when they can't accomplish the task.

image 2: aforementioned onlookers beaming and gurning, tearing holes in paper landscape. behind is an army. they still tear, screaming their parents never loved them. nothing comes out of their mouth.

Do you know what the most ridiculous thing is? EVEN IN MY DREAMS i still stick up for her. You can take your fake loyalty and push it down your throat. I would have done anything for you.

image: bandaged hand. knife through each finger. hand trying to make a fist, fingers can't bend. open locket in palm, about to slip away. locket is facing down. smell of burning.