So, what exciting things have happened to me lately? Well, not many. I did get incredibly mashed on new year's day though, and gurned the sides of my mouth into a pulp of dead white flesh which stings when i eat. I also split up with my girlfriend then made up later yesterday... i think there was some tension because i sparked her brother. Here's the short story: I'm sitting in her front room playing video games with Miranda (my gal), when her brother comes in, yelling to "turn the fucking tv down"!

So, in comes this prat giving it all this gob. He seems to think that he can treat people like shit because... well, i don't know why. His mum and sister lwet him get away with it, so he's never learnt different. I've always said that one day someone's gonna give him a smack in the mouth. Heh, and guess what i did? Well, anyway, i start to get up to turn down the tv, 'cause he was asleep after all. But as i'm getting up, he squeals again "turn the fucking tv down"!! Now, i've already taken his shit once, and i've actually obeyed this tosser out of consideration, but he's still yelling at me! I turn to face him and shout back, "alright!". Now there must be something wrong with this boy's head, because he seems to think that it'a ok to shout at people, and that they won't shout back! But i did, and ooh, he didn't like this, no, the little boy did not. So he steps up to me. This kid! This stringy little bean steps up to me!

Now i'm gonna stop this for a sec. Miranda's brother, Paul, has been a cunt to me since he met me. Contrary to his behaviour, i'd always been polite and nice to him. I'm that kinda guy, i don't really deal in unpleasantries. But for some reason, he's always been a total sod to me. So, just recently, i figured it ain't gonna make a damn bit of difference wether i try to be nice or just don't bother. So i stopped caring.

And it's not just me he's a cunt to. He shouts at his mum; she's afraid to talk to him. And he treats Miranda like his little maid, calling her up when he's hungry to get her to come home and make him a meal, because although she's many years younger than him, he's still incapable of doing it for himself. I asked Miranda just why he's a bastard to me, and she told me that it's not just me, it's everyone.

Anyway, so he steps up to me. But Paul most certainly AIN'T all that. I shake me head in disbelief: i can't belief he's serious! But he lunges for me! He actually swings for me! Of course, he misses by a clear mile, but, oh, he's started now, and i automatically sock him, BAM, BAM, BAM again, straight to the face. Not like it's gonna make him any less pretty! I knock him down and back, and he crawls like a baby into his room; i'm still cool, he's nothing to get stressed about, but then he emerges with a hammer -- a fucking hammer! -- in his hands, screaming that he's gonna muck me up unless i leave! Hands up, i move to the door and leave, as he slams it behind me. He starts a fight on his own grounds and flees, only to return brandishing a weapon! C'mon!! Anyway, i hear him shouting at Miranda (see what i mean? Piece of shit's gotta shout at someone else 'cause he knows he can't shout at me), squealing at the only person who'll take his whining. I wait for a while outside, then knock on the door. Miranda comes out, telling me he's put a whole in my Playstation! And i'm astonished! What a fucking pussy!

'Course, he cried to his dad, so now i'm in his bad books. I wonder what he told daddy? That he screamed at me even after i did what i he told me to do? That he started on me because i stood up to him? That he swang for me because i scoffed, or that he threatened me with a metal hammer because i defended myself? And i'll bet he didn't tell him that he smashed my console because he couldn't touch me?

Well, in the end, i'm laughing. He paid for a new console (one that works better than my old one!) So, as i said to my good friend Ellie, i wonder if he's learnt his lesson? His attitude cost him three blows to the face, and his temper cost him �75!

What i was most upset about though, was the fact that when Miranda came out after the incident, she started blurting out excuses for him, telling me that "you've gotta handle him properly"! I was calm until she started this, but eventuall i held her and told her it was ok, since she was just trying to be the mediator, the "mother hen". Anyway, at least if he goes off again she can tell him to shut his face of she'll get her boyfriend to sort him out! And it was so nice to see her grin when i told her how great it was to throw my fist into his face.

Well, he's "banned" me from coming round, but it's not up to him unless Miranda decides so. Seems that she's not only letting him get away with swinging for her boyfriend and threatening him with a hammer (just because i stood up for myself?!?!), but she's also letting him stop her from seeing me at her convenience. It's all up to her, but i can't see her doing anything about it, which is a shame. She told me that if she stood up for herself, she'd became some sort of angry dragon person that i wouldn't like anymore. But i'm not an angry dragon person..? I can understand she's scared, but what's he gonna do? Threaten her with a hammer too?

So that's the most exciting thing that's happened to me recently.