i don't to be alone right now. i wanna share this, with all of you. i want reach out to your hearts, and grasp you , and captivate you. i wanna be the piano that makes you cry with joy, even though you have no idea why you're crying.

i am happy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

mum looks up at me. watching "reality tv". drags me in. and i'm not happy any more. my face drops. pulls me down, back, away from my happy universe. back to her world. just because she wants some company.

now i need to cry. she's shattered me. she has no idea. no more joy, no happiness: another shattered hope.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suck in my gut. Withdraw to myself. Can't do it. Why'd she have to..????

She's still talking to me. Not even to me. Just talking. I can't remember that world, that joy; such a brief moment away... but it's gone.

It's gone. And i'm crying.

I had a hope! I had it, i my grasp! I held it in my hand! I was actually happy! And it's gone! Again!!