sarah i s spending the night and im soo happi.. we had her boyfrine and his best bud ova.. sam us her 19 yr. old boi toy *hehe* and danny... hes 18 and soo c ute... butt him and i r jsut friends... nick called and he decided to talk "rational" im so happi ab. that he wantedthe truth and i gave it to him.. wether he believes it or not is another story... i just want it all to goaway.. i want things to go back to the way they used to.. when it was simple... i would bin tears if it wasnt for sarah here.. joe is... i cant reach him so i hope hes on his way home... i fel bad bc i wont/havent been able to let anyone touch me since nick.... i trusted him with everything... he knew my body so well... i wont even let my mom touch me.. only him... and of course sarah*hehe* ya i do the whole hug things.... but it was diff. with him and joe i know wants that... buttt its hard. i dunno where nick and are heading... im jsut soo hurt.. i know hes hurting butt i neva spread rumours about him or anything... i told the girls that i have to make more time for him now that mi parents aWERE allowing me to see him... butt now.. they wont give him another chance.. i snuck calling him today... i dont know what it is i just cant leave him... i say i wasnt closure.. butt is that.. i cant/wont/dont forget ab him... hes playhed a big part on my life... if you even care.. i dont hink anyone is listening... turtle ill write you 2morow... mwah.. oh i have ur note tooo.... im out