so i dunno. im on natural highs.... its fun. so last night i saw the angel and i dunno its like feels like tis lurking behind me... i can feel the chills... its scary.. butt i have mike to protect me.. i know im stupid.. i felll hard for nick and joe and cory and now mike.. butt its different.. mike and i have absolutely nothing incommon except that we like to aprty and he'd protect me form anyone and i understand him. nick adn could finish eachothas sentences that was love.. butt i dont feel love anymore.. i loved hanging with joe and i adore his family... butt i dont believe in love.... kristina sarah and alycia are my girls.. id give anything for them and for mi turtle.. if i ahd to give mi life for a scumbag i would... b/c mi death could open their eyes and show them something... something theyrve nevar seen b4. im not afraid of dying... i jsut dont want to be murdereed.... im scared to b intimate with anyone.. not really scared i just dont want it.. butt im attracted to mike.. he gave me this stuffed puppy.. i sleep with it... im mad though bc i cant bring him home to mom...i want to ...butt oh well... she knows he exists ..butt thats all...nothing more andi plan to keep it that way.i go see dr.nezezon tomorrow and he's gonna tell me if im crazy or not and what he can do to help.. i dont care anymore.. its all good. i miss my sister... i dont wanna go back toschool.i wanna live with her,,,,i need a cigarette...