he runied mus... now im gonna ruin my life and take him down in the process so last nigth after work.... meg caught him walking with karry... he was supposed to wait for me... i mean we only had sex 3times yesterday.... so she asked him what he was doing " i can have friends" is what he said .... so meg said " not friends qwith benefits" hes supposed to b with me.. he said he was... he wanted to start over... well when i got off work.. he got in my face... and said hes gonna go have sex with her..... so i told my mom everything.... and if he were to show up tonight.... we were gonna call the cops... im getting a PFA against him.... its Protection From Abuse..... i love him soo much.. butt all he does is hurt me... mom understands.. shes going through a divorce with dad... i guess thats what nick and i are going through.... soi have the divorce and nick to deal with... mom and i were gonna call the cops on dad and nick... butt we're blth drunk.... lets see what happens tomorrw... the bad part is... i work with karry. and it hurts so much.... so fuck life.... fuck love.... im not even sre if this whole year and half with him was a lie or not... thats what hurts the most....im gonna go back to the way i was.... screw trying to b a beter person for someone.... he couldnt eve n be honest with me.... im lost and am in soo much pain.... more than anyone can imagine... it sucks.... so ive been drinking... that'll make him happy. i HOPE hes happy with her... the PFA is more for me that for him.. i wana forgwt about him... butt ill never find anyone that im comfprtable with.... like i was with him... i need to b put in line and knocked around... he taught me to fight... well that was a mistake.. ive already broke 2 of his ribs.... and ihave witnesses.. if he comes tomorrow.. itll b self defence....