im so confused .... its monday and so much has happened... friday was great.. i felt like i actually belonged... ya know... saturday wwas borin butt sunday was cool... matt deseu is here all weekend.... ivy came over and spent the night... them two are soo cute together,.,.. its funny .. complete strangers have helped when mi supposed best friend said she didnt care... i want a guy like matt,.. hes soo caring and always tries to see the best in everything... hes my big brother.. i wonder... if i would have listened to him and not locked myself in the bathroom,, maybe it never would have happened.. so many questions...i opened up to him this mornin. we were up til 3...and i dont do that to many ppl.and i dont cry that often... i jsut want someone to b there... someone to hold me and tell me everything is gonna b ok.o know i should b indepenedent.. butt i cant always do everything by myself.. ive learned.. i wish things would go back to the way they used to.. i do need someone to take care of me...