damn it he did it to me again.... nick told me he would come over today.... butt he never showed up... i waited for hours... and he never showed.. then he drove past the house with tom at noon,,.... butt he never stopped. he went to a party last night... butt jer and tom came back... i dunno a bout him.... he disses me for beer and drugs ./ i mean he promised me he'd stay away from karry... it makes me wonder... what else is he hidin from me.... or who... i dont trust him and i have the right not tooo... mi head is telling me to just say fuck him... butt my heart....hes breaking mty heart butt i still love him school starts on the 29... and things will change... mi life at home and at school are two completely diferent lives .... i feel liek im liveing 3 lives and i dunno what to do... i dont really know who the hell i am... ya i can make decisions for myslef .. butt im never fully ahppy with them.. im confused i dyed my hair again.. it looks really cute... its a more natural color... butt for school im gonig to red... then back to mi burgundy... its mi favorite... i feel like crap... i think im getting sick a gain.... and its killing me... im soo worn out... i have to work today at 5.. butt t philippe is coming in.. so i dont have to do everything by myself... its ok... im going to the FAIR ON WEDNSEDAY and on the 23,24,25 i'll b in atlantic city with mi bro mi mom my g-ma anthony lloyd nad ivy... its gonna b a blast...