i dont know what to do anymore... im lost and scared im tired.... butt icant sleep. i think joe is cheating on me.. i really do... i love him but im seriously doubting this relationship.... i think he's with someone else... butt whateva.. he says he thinks im with someone else.... bullshit! i wouldnt do that... brenda came ova today... it was cool... joe gto mad bc when he came to pick her up i only gave him a kiss and nothing more... he's supposed to be coming ova on sunday... and to make him happy.... i thoguht nick was gone.. butt he called on wednesday and said ge still cared about me and everythings... ya right he probably jsut got lonely (drunk) he ruined my life... he tells me he's gonna kill me... now he says he still cares... he needs to amke up his mind.. i want him to read this.. so he knows how i feel... butt whateva i dont give a damn anymore... i guess i have him to thank for that.. he taught me how to love and hate... i feel like an ass bc i try to base my relationship with joe... like nick and i .... him andi had something soo special...i jsut want to feel that again... he was the only guy who eva touched me like that... it was special... it was sexy.. i dont/ i havent been able to let anyone else touch me...and that pisses joe off... i know and ifeel bad.. so on sunday... and/or the next time i go tohis house... i'll try and give him what he wants... i dunno...