i have decided to put up my journal from europe. not all of it will have been written back then, but the added things will be more detailed descriptions, because i was often writing in a hurry in the car and missing a lot of things. it shall be on lostsecrets. _____________________________________ i think im becomming addicted to things. addicted to procrastination, which will cause me to not sleep much, which will cause me to be addicted to caffiene (ive started drinking cappuccino in the mornings because i just cant take it), and the worst one, i cant stop spending money. i think ive already spent my whole pay check that i havent even gotten. and my mom has given me a ton of money to spend, too. and i just cant stop. i have no self control anymore. ive gotten three purses in the last two months. and they arent even in bad shape before i get the next one. i just cant walk into a store and not come out with something anymore. today was fun. court, kelsey and i went to gordmans and walmart, and it was pretty durn fun. i tried on homecoming dresses with them even though i already have one, and there was this weird one that was like a body suit (waist up looked like a formal dance, and below that it was like a pair of black pants with a sheer skirt over it) and no i didnt know it was pants before i tried it on. and i took pictures of them and they took pictures of me as we tried things on. and then i got underwear, which was the actual whole reason i went, is because my mom refuses to take me and fine because i can get things she wouldnt let me get if she doesnt go. i was trying on hooker underwear, it was hilarious. i tried on this black bra that had a million straps, it took me like 15 minutes to figure out how to get it on and off, but it really did look like hooker clothes. and then we went to walmart and wandered around and i got rollos. and OMG. this is the meanest thing ever, but it was like the funniest thing ive seen in a long time. it still makes me laugh really hard when i think about it. my mom pulled up in front of walmart to pick us up, and we got in the car, and were waiting to go while people were crossing the crosswalk, when this lady walked up to the sidewalk at a totally normal speed, and tripped, and completely did a forward roll and then just layed there. it went in slow motion for me which is probably why i thought it was so funny, but it was like she fell really slowly on her knees, and then did a really slow flip, and her hair was flying all over the place and her sunglasses flew. and then she just got up and walked into walmart embaressedly. and for like 20 seconds we were all like OMG! i wonder if shes ok! i feel bad for her! and things like that. and as soon as we all got out of the parking lot we erupted laughing out of nowhere, especially me and kelsey because we saw it happen because she was on our side of the car. i was laughing so hard i was crying for a really long time, and kelsey was practically screaming because she was laughing so hard. but yeah. if she wasnt ok it wouldnt be funny. and im still not sure why it was so funny but it just...was. and im still laughing about it hours later... i have a D in math. my parents are having mrs latal tutor me. im going to sneak to unrein and hubers house and pee on them in their sleep before duct taping them to the bed. for not teaching practically ANYTHING in middle school. i realized today the worst feeling in the world is when you are sitting in a room with a bunch of other people. and everyone has something but you, or everyone gets something but you. (thats my opinion, of course) like today when everyone gets the math problems for Honors alg 2 except me. and i just sit there in a daze. i still feel this need to spend more money. my parents better keep the credit cards out of my reach when the companies start sending them to me. because i think id screw my money up real bad. i feel like seeing a movie. saturday night? maybe? sunday night? ...will someone come with me? a few people? ...maybe?? current saving up for thinger: new papa roach cd. hopefully i can have some freakin self control.