the world has turned and left me here. i think tragedy is in my nature. i think i probably thrive on it, as well as change. my life is not tragic, but i am drawn towards tragic things, always being drawn towards that which is haunted or haunting, those books in which the characters slowly suffer, the movies in which innocent people die i am strange and perverse, not by today's standards, but by the standards of the time i should have been born in. ______________________________________ i do feel much better after going to sleep, but my body still hurts, and i'm not sure why. of course the muscles are still sore from the charlie horses, or whatever else you may call them, but new places on my back hurt. it would be funny if i were wasting away and dying. i'm not sure why, but it would. i'm not saying that in a depressed or suicidal way, although i must admit, although i am neither depressed or suicidal, i have an odd fascination with death. especially whatever comes after death, whether its the 'heaven/hell' scenario, reincarnation, becomming a part of everything, or simply wasting away in a grave. filled krispe [sp] creme [sp] donuts give me horrible heartburn, which i guess is just another thing to add to the list. but anyways, i'm off to do whatever. hopefully to get a massage from my mom, since my back is killing me so beautifuly. this weekend is a drag.